Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why is dating so frustrating and difficult for a guy?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

What would you do if you found out that someone had broken into your home while you were sleeping?

I don’t cotton to rapists

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Dinosaurs Had More Than Just Teeth—They Had Cancer, and It’s Changing Everything - The Daily Galaxy

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Just sitting at home with this huge cock. Who can take care of it for me?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

1st measles case of the year in South Dakota as CDC updates travel guidance - ABC News

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Could humans be selectively bred, like dogs, to create 2 subspecies that can no longer have offspring? Do I not understand selective breeding properly? Im not worried about the moral implications, just the science please.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can read

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

NASA Discovers Strange X-Shaped Structures in Earth’s Upper Atmosphere - Indian Defence Review

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Two of my family members have recently converted to Islam and have brought shame on my family. How do I get them back into the fold of Hinduism?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Approximately 1.7 million air conditioners voluntarily recalled for potential mold exposure - ABC News

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have a reading level above third grade

Box Office: ‘Lilo & Stitch’ Flies to $610 Million Globally, ‘Mission: Impossible 8’ and ‘Sinners’ Hit $350 Million Milestone - Variety

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What are "demonic attacks" and how can one tell when they're happening to them, or someone else? How would one go about dealing with it?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

How can I stop drinking?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

RKF Jr. May Have Just Ruined Our Best Weapon Against Bird Flu - The Bulwark

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Rihanna’s Father, Ronald Fenty, Dies at 70: Report - Billboard

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

Where and how did ballet originate?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?